I think it was JUNE the last time I watched and reviewed any episodes of this. I was getting quite into it and the mystery of what Mrs Johnson was up to, but then the school holidays started and I think I just forgot about it. I remembered it a few weeks ago but never seem to have had time to do it. So here I am on a Sunday while Brodie is at the swimming, sitting down to watch at least one episode in the hope I can get two watched and reviews posted in the next week or two!

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 The Dance

This episode reminds me rather of The Dress from series one. A whole episode which has nothing at all to do with the original book, and even in terms of the TV plot seems like a filler story.

In short, some boys from Thackery (the losers from The Quiz?) are coming for a dance lesson, but Gwen goes completely overboard, referring to it as a Dance (you can practically hear the capital letter) and making the girls dress up and decorate the hall. In doing so she manages to not only drop Mary-Lou into trouble but completely betray her into the bargain.

The side plot (which is a bit baffling) involves Mary-Lou and Darrell finding a statue in the woods.

Let’s start with what was good.

Although not strictly necessary it was great to see the girls in their 1940s dresses rather than their school uniforms.

Gwen’s dress is an odd choice, much more sombre than the others, and the dark burgundy velvet looks almost black in some scenes making her look like she’s attending a funeral, not a dance.

There was also much amusement with Bill, whose “best clothes” turned out to be trousers and shirt, and did not live up to Gwen’s expectations.

The costume dress she tried on was definitely worse. I thought for a moment (as Sally “accidentally” rips the collar) that we were in for a Ron Weasley job of removing unwanted embellishments, but no it’s just discarded, and she wears the trousers. I enjoyed Mam’zelle Rougier calling her tres chic much to Gwen’s disgust.

I also thought it was very like Bill’s New Frock, the Anne Fine book, where Bill (a boy) wakes up one day as a girl and must wear a frilly pink dress to school. Not sure if this was a deliberate homage though!

Although I often dislike Gwen, I enjoy Danya Griver’s acting as nasty Gwen, like when she responds to Darrel’s statement about not spending her married life organising tea dances with:

I don’t think anyone was expecting YOU to be a good wife.

Her inspecting all the girls’ clothing is also very well acted.

Mary-Lou draws the statue for the others, which was a nice nod back to her revealed skills in series two. Always like it when the writers don’t completely forget about these things.

Darrell and Sebastion’s rivalry and verbal sparring was fun.

Things that made little or no sense

Bill wearing trousers was a perfect opportunity for her to take part in a boy’s role as there are eight girls to four boys, but instead they have her sit out of the paired dancing. Similarly Irene brought down gramophone records, but ends up sitting out and playing the piano. It all works out in the end as Darrell and Mary-Lou are off getting in trouble, but it’s not as if that was pre-planned… This seems to be only to allow for extra drama as she rushes in to save Gwen from a banana peel. Again, it doesn’t make sense as one of the boys drops a banana peel and instead of Bill just picking it up, she cuts in, dances with Sally, saying they must “save” Gwen. I don’t know how she knows it’s for Gwen, and why she doesn’t then dance with Gwen to tell her/guide her to avoid it or even better, just pick it up or kick it to the side which is what she ends up doing anyway.

As both Jonathan Creek and Mythbusters have proved, banana peels are actually not all that slippery, but I suppose the Thackery boys wouldn’t know that.

The (frankly over-ripe and disgusting looking) bananas were provided by the school, though it’s pointed out that most people haven’t seen a banana since the war. So why has the school got them, and why have they been left to go off if they’re such a rare treat? Applying verbal historical context only really works if the actions match.

I expected Ellen to present a bigger problem, as we’ve already seen her struggle with the uniform. But she has a dress, which admittedly Gwen does call not very a la mode, hinting that it is a bit out of date, but I thought it was one of the nicer ones there. Certainly nicer than Jean’s stripy one.

I actually thought the idea of a dance lesson with boys was quite bizarre under Miss Johnson’s rule as it seems a) an unnecessary distraction from their studies and b) an opportunity for the girls to tell someone about the harsh new rules etc. Given she’s so adamant that the girls don’t leave the building, talk to the staff or write uncensored letters (more on that in episode 8) it seems weird to allow half a dozen boys in.

Darrell’s fake illness was terrible, as was them having a half hour break from a lesson which had barely seemed to start.

I remain baffled by Miss Johnson. She refuses to believe that Darrell and Mary-Lou saw a statue. Yet, she has no reason to believe they’d make up such a wild story especially when they take her out to see it. Of course it’s gone when they get there, so I’m sure she organised it to be removed. So SHE knew it was there, and she knew that THEY knew it was there… obviously she can’t admit to it, but why not just act surprised and only accuse them of lying when there’s no statue to be found? (I’ve sort of spoiled the big reveal by looking at the show on IMDb, I was just checking the episode titles but they come with a one or two sentence descriptor which gives rather a lot away… but a lot of her behaviour remains inexplicable)

At the end of the episode she reveals that she knew Gwen had lied about Mary-Lou, but still manages to turn the blame onto Mary-Lou for being gullible, and suggests that Gwen inform her of any misbehaving. Obviously she wants Gwen on-side, but is she really that worried about the third formers finding out her secret?

What I disliked

Not a criticism (this time) but I was FURIOUS with Gwen, and also sick and tired of all the other girls constantly forgiving her for her atrocious behaviour.

In her desperation to make the hall attractive she sends Mary-Lou out for ivy, telling her that as Head of Form she is allowed to give permission for them to leave the school.

Mary-Lou being Mary-Lou believes her, but Miss Johnson then reminds Gwen that nobody is to leave the school. The ivy is a dead give away that someone did leave the school and so Gwen blurts out that it was all Mary-Lou’s idea, and she tried to stop her…

UGH. I can understand her not wanting to get into trouble or disappoint her father but to tell such a blatant lie, in front of Mary-Lou… The girls are disgusted with her but I know by the next episode(s) they’ll have forgiven her.

Yes, a statue in the woods is strange and interesting, but Darrell’s wild determination to go off and look at it – for fun – is infuriating. The girls have been in SO MUCH trouble already for leaving school – and Darrell in particular over the temper tantrum with the book etc – that this seems like an extremely flimsy reason for her to risk more trouble. Helping a friends, sure. Looking at a bust (which they’re all convinced is massively rare and old and valuable for no reason) no way.

She declares that maybe it’s a clue, but to what??

She also ruins any chance she had of defending Mary-Lou against Gwen’s lie by losing her temper and while not exactly shouting, raising her voice and being argumentative. She also manages to dob herself and Mary-Lou for leaving school themselves.

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The Sisters

This is another episode which has a new plot designed only to allow Miss Johnson to become more draconian. Felicity comes to the school to sit the entry exam and Miss Johnson starts to read and censor the girls’ letters.

What worked well?

I appreciated that Alicia was referenced in both this episode and the previous one. Normally girls who leave are forgotten, but I know that she returns, so this is perhaps a little foreshadowing?

While the letter censoring made me mad, it was fairly well done, and illustrated what a tight grip Miss Johnson has on the school. The girls are writing home as a class assignment, and Miss Johnson tells Irene not to mention order marks and that they must keep all their letters upbeat. It’s all so sinister!

The viewer is (I assume, like me) willing the girls to get a message out somehow, and they very nearly do, until Miss Johnson decides to check Felicity’s pockets on the presence it’s to prevent exam cheating. She’s given up even justifying her actions/rules as being for the girls’ benefit as she simply reads the letter and confiscates it.

What Darrell wrote –

An awful old demon with pointless and stupid rules that are driving us all potty.

Was hilarious, though also pretty stupid as she wrote it in class and her only defence was I didn’t mean it like that.

Frustratingly the tension continues as while Felicity is able to tell her father about the new regime at Malory Towers, Miss Johnson is more than capable of smoothly reassuring him on the phone. (There were hints of you wait until [our] father hears about this, ala Draco Malfoy here, but Mr Rivers is no Lucius.)

I liked Ellen getting to show off her intelligence by writing a coded letter which looks like a terrible poem. Even better that it gets past Miss Johnson’s censoring. But it’s being sent to Alicia – what good can she do, I wonder?

Spring crashes heavily over our lovely island,
Sweet little irises keep erupting,
And proud roses illuminate softly our nook.

Can you crack the code where Gwen and Mrs Johnson couldn’t?

Things that made no sense

Since Miss Johnson set her new rules the girls have banned from leaving the building without a permission slip. While it’s never stated that the girls don’t have them in this episode, they are seen lounging around by the driveway, visiting the greenhouses, going swimming and HANGING AROUND THE STABLES. It’s as if that rule has conveniently been forgotten to allow various parts of this episode to work.

Miss Johnson tells them that they are not to show Felicity the pool or the stables, so they decided to do it anyway including planning a midnight feast – risking getting into huge trouble yet again for something utterly frivolous. Felicity has visited the school before and will see all these things when she joins next term.

Their “genius” plan is for Mary-Lou to swap clothes with Felicity, and do the exam prep for her while she goes off for fun. The school only seems to have about ten students so it’s glaringly obvious that Felicity is not one of them, even in an orange dress and Mary-Lou’s glasses.

Mary-Lou fools Gwen (from behind, with a hat on) but Gwen is on a self-absorbed ramble. And Mary-Lou is stupid enough to react to an unkind comment and give it away in the end.

Gwen, presumably forgiven after the previous episode, decides not to tell on Mary-Lou, but tries to get the others in trouble for going down to the pool with Felicity. She really doesn’t think it through – it’s like she just can’t help herself. As, how can Felicity be at the pool, if Gwen hadn’t reported her missing from the classroom before now?

Felicity and Mary-Lou swap clothes back in under ten seconds which seems impossible. It’s not one continuous camera shot, but we see Felicity go into the hall, and Darrell walk upstairs. Darrell only gets halfway when she hears Miss Johnson coming along, talking to Gwen. Miss Johnson and Gwen then walk into the hall and find Felicity and Mary-Lou in their own clothes. Yes, Mary-Lou has her dress on inside out, but Felicity has had time to put on her dress, button it up, then her cardigan and hat.

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