A long time ago I did a post about the search terms which brought people to our site, (I also had some in a Monday post, with made-up illustrations) and while looking for things to write about for my maternity leave posts I noticed a few funny ones and thought I could do a second post.

It’s interesting to see what weird and wonderful things people put into search engines. I’m sure many will have come to our site and found something interesting or useful, others will be very disappointed as we have no information on spiders called Enid.

I DON’T THINK YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE

Like the enid-the-spider searcher, some people will be disappointed to find our blog after searching for things like second form at malory towers read online free. Sorry, but no. We don’t illegally publish whole books that are still under copyright. (A few long out of print poems are another matter.)

A lot of people clearly want that though, and think it’s OK, as I’ve noticed a few more results for ‘book title read online’.  Read Nooddy books online being one, which is worse because of the terrible spelling. But it’s not as bad as Secert Seven Win Thorgh book dwolond. You have to give Google points for working out what this person meant!

Famous Five pdf books4you.blog.com is wrong twice. We don’t do illegal PDFs and strangely we are not called books4you.

One or two baffled me, like Hilary Mckay. On searching I’ve found out she’s a children’s author published by Hodder, but we’ve never written anything about her!

Scarlet pimpernel is another. I suspect the words come up in one of our monthly flowers posts, but I imagine many people would think of the famous novel first!

Eileen A Soper who was David Morton is also interesting, as I can’t think of any connection between the two. We certainly mention both of them on this site, but not usually in the same sentence (until now.) There is also a second entry of Eileen A Soper and David Morton. The same person, I wonder, or is there a common confusion out there?

Months that ended on a Monday in 2015. Nope, we are not a calendar.

g.r. no. 197980. I don’t have a clue.

I STARTED TYPING AND THEN I…

Some people like to live dangerously and not finish their searches:

The first modern observation of the… Of the what? (And how did that lead them to us?)

The name of the charecter five run away together. What character would that be? Sorry, charecter.

Eileen Soper boy. Eileen Soper illustrated many boys. Was there a particular one you were interested in?

What species dog in enid blyton. Many? Well, in her books. Not necessarily inside Enid herself.

FANFICTION REQUESTS

There were a lot of searches for Enid Blyton fan fiction. Many were straight foward like famous five fan fiction. Others were very, very specific. Perhaps the person had once read a fan fiction and forgotten its name, but I can’t believe that’s the case every time.

• Five Find Outers fanfiction Fatty hurt
• Fanfiction Enid Blyton Anne gets kidnaped
• Julian kiss George Enid Blyton fanfic – you do know they are cousins, right??
• “Julian” “George” “kiss” “fanfiction” – this person is determined!
• Enid Blyton fanfiction about Barney and Diana’s romance

ARE YOU CHEATING BY ANY CHANCE?

Just like last time there are a lot of people looking for summaries and synopses of books. We’ve even got one for a critical appreciation of a title. Fair enough, but how many of them are meant to be writing their own? Many also want summary by chapter or quite in depth things – why not just read the book?

I suspect this person could be: write a character sketch of any of the main character of Enid Blyton. That looks like they’ve bunged their homework assignment (perhaps they’ve specified their author of choice as I’m not sure how many schools specifically assign Blyton) straight into Google looking for answers.

But then again maybe it’s teachers looking for inspiration – this sounds like a teacher doesn’t it? Enidblyton poems for class one (apart from the missing space, but even teachers can make typos.)

What do the Famous Five book Five Get Into Trouble talk about and illustrations opinion. Not too sure what this means but again, reading the book would probably help.

My favourite character in and why I like it Five on a Hike Together. How is Google supposed to know who your favourite character is and why you like that book?

Or how about Enid Blyton french verbs. Do your own French homework! (Ok they may be looking for any examples given in either Mam’zelles class.)

Why we inspired by Enid Blyton. I don’t think Google can answer that for you either.

And Famous Five Go to Billycock Hill powerpoint presentation… make your own!

BOOKS THAT WERE NEVER PUBLISHED

Malory Towers Fourth Grade when the school was temporarily relocated to the US and the girls studied math and ate gum.

Five at the George summary. I’m torn as to whether they mean George or not. Gorge would make more sense, even if the Five never did go to a gorge.

AND THE DEEP AND MEANINGFUL

Why has Noddy changed? One searcher asked. I imagine this typed in a very mournful way, lamenting the fact that Noddy is now a CGI boy with a tablet computer. Why indeed, has Noddy changed?

Why did Enid Blyton Five Find Outers Bets age. Oh why did Bets have to age? Or do they mean why was she younger? Both very important queries.

Was Five Go Mad in Dorset racist -wikipedia -wikia – a good question, really! (And they were smart to exclude Wikipedia from their search.)

I think that’s enough for one week. I have more for later, though!