This blog idea just keeps on giving – just about every time I look at our search terms I find something funny or interesting (but mostly funny!). The other plus is that these posts are fairly quick to write and don’t require lots of research. I’ll probably still have to write it in chunks, as my little boy is only amused by his vibrating chair or gym mat for so long, but at least I’m writing. I hope you’re not all fed up of posts about search terms by now, though!

MORE MADE UP BOOKS, FILMS AND AUTHORS

Some of these are just typos clearly, but they make for some funny reading.

There was a book called The Isle of Gloom. No, not quite. There is a book about the Isle Of Gloom though, that would probably do.

Then there was the Upper Fourth at Malort Towers, that well-known Blyton boarding school. And of course her most famous character – Nody, in Nody has advanchers. 

And a couple which combine with the next topic, pfd The Mestry of the Missing Neckless main point, Famous Five go to Mystery Moor full movie download and Kirrin Island Blyton films. 

I assume the last one refers to the Children’s Film Foundation serialisation of Five on a Treasure Island (the other one doesn’t feature Kirrin). The first probably wants an illegal PDF of The Mystery of the Missing Necklace. (I’m getting my come-uppance for making fun of other people’s spellings already, it took me a couple of goes to spell mystery correctly there! But I haven’t had an unbroken night’s sleep in the best part of a year so I can be forgiven, yes?)

And the middle term must mean the TV episode of Five Go to Mystery Moor, but 70s or 90s who knows!

And lastly someone wanted poems written by Edith Blyton…

PDFS (OR IS THAT PFDS?) AND OTHER ILLEGAL COPIES

As always there are more requests for downloads of books, TV episodes and movies (that mostly don’t exist)

Second Form at Malory Towers read online

Some don’t even get spaces as with theboynextdoorenidblytonpdf (funny how they can specify the format, though.)

I always wonder why people click onto our blog when they are searching for the full text or episode. It should be clear from the little blurb that Google gives that we are only discussing the original works.

FANFICTION

Fanfiction remains popular with some pretty normal requests like fanfiction Alicia Johns, Famous Five Sniffer and George fanfiction, Malory Towers fanfic June’s diary and Famous Five fanfiction romance Julian. 

It’s interesting that people have some very specific ideas about what fanfics they hope to find. Pairings or characters are common to look for but scenarios and unusual pairings are much less likely to get results. I tend to find browsing by author or series with fanfic on proper fanfic sites will get you much further.

Anyway, there were also a few odd searches including Famous Five fanfiction injuries and Finder Outers spanking fanfic. That first one sounds like the Famous Five were injured by writing fanfiction, with papercuts all around, and the second… well, let’s not go there – but there’s even more spanking in my next section!

I DON’T EVEN KNOW, BUT SOME OF IT SEEMS WRONG

• six persons illustrations Five Brexit Islan – Did six persons actually illustrate this book? I don’t see how as they have Soper’s originals and a new cover artist and that adds up to two.
• speak in ryme all the time spanker – More spanking and also speaking in r(h)yme?
• naughty amelia .com – yep, not the sort of site we are at all
• what is the term bluton and wegon – I’m not even sure these are real words.
• Enid Blyton poem standerd3 with lyrics – Blyton’s standard, sorry, standerd poems… with lyrics. Right.
• ebcoin and ebcoin.com – I know why this leads here as I once mocked up a pound coin with Blyton’s face on it for fun and called it ebcoin. I don’t know what a real ebcoin is but I don’t think we would have been helpful for this person (or people).

• i want to make barley sugar? – Do you? Are you sure? Well, we do have a recipe for it when you work out what you want.
• english ch- Mystery of the Missing Necklace with ques ans – I’m not sure what english ch is, but I think ques ans might mean questions.

TRANSLATION REQUIRED

We’ve had a few searches which have foreign words in them, I suspect some might be Indonesian (but I could be miles off). It’s nice to see Blyton so popular around the world but I wish I knew what they meant!

• the mystery of the missing necklace ka saransh
• saran three cheers secret seven
• jemima rooper famous five hentali

ACTUAL SENSIBLE SEARCHES 

Before you think that every that comes here is looking for the weird or wonderful we also get some normal searches too!

Someone wanted to know about the parents of Julian Kirrin – not that surprising as they barely feature in the books and their surname is unclear.

Others were looking for Enid Blyton’s quotes on jealousy, Mrs Glump’s shortbread, and asking where is Tauri Hessia? (Spoiler, it’s a made up country, worse luck.)

And one of my favourites, wherever we go only the brave will follow. Which as I am sure you all know is a line from the Adventure Series theme song. It was so worth me playing it over and over to type out the lyrics!